Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
