Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize