I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
