idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
