I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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