My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
