Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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