did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
