Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
