everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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