Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
