I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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