my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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