you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
