Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
