come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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