He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
