I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I have demons in me.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
