Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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