I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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