sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
