she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
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I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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