Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
They took my balls.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
