...so i touched it.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
