you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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