I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
