I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Who did Billy Mays play for?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize