Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
She announced her abortion via fbk
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
