dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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