Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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