Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
