There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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