eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
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Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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