it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It's just like the Real World with babies
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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