Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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