Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Can Purell be used as lube?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize