I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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