I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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