so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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