Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
