Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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