i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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