That's intense
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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