so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize