she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
