hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
two words: eviction party
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
