I'm going to jail i love you
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
