try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
How does one acquire holy water?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
