if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
