using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize