FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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