well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
porn star boner night. come get it.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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