nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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