apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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