dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I didn't notice because vodka
We were destined to go to rehab together
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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