he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
everyone is single if you try hard enough
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
