Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
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His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
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The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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