Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
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We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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