babies were throwing up all over the place
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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